Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I think i m sliding alittle towards depression. Though this few days had been quite relaxing for me, I had many nights of bad sleeps, nitemares. I can feel the stress coming as its symptomes once again came upon me even now as I was typing this post. It has been since so since the start of the week. Maybe, it is better to have things to keep me occupied rather than nothing to do.

Now, i hate this phrase "for life" from doctors.

It was for my back that i need to keep going back for treatment to maintain it and it is for life.

It was my skin that has causing me lots of troubles since i was 9 and it hasnt got any better especially when stress arise. It is for life either.

It was my teeth retainer which the doctor had told me that it was for life. I feel the limit at this moment and i just do not know how to feel.

These makes me feel like i am just a patient for life, regardless for whichever condition.

I told mum about it and how i feel then she say she gave me so many problems. I feel so sad after hearing that. She said that as i was an underweight baby. She say sorry for all the troubles. But i told her not her fault. It is just me. I love you mum.

I just feel like throwing some tantrum and i even told ali i want to go somewhere else really soon all by myself but she dun really approve of it either. Shall that things as it comes.

signing off... audrey at 10:26 PM